5.13.2010

Shoe Bulimia Kills Kittens

Anyone who knows me knows I have a love affair with shoes. You need only look as far as my closet to get the idea. TRUST ME when I say this is only a sliver of what I've packed into this closet.

This is why shoe bulimia is so unsettling to me.
That’s right, shoe-bulimia.


It’s your standard splurge and purge reaction.
I have a friend with this disease. To be clear, I don’t mean “Friend” in the way where everyone thinks I'm talking about myself accept ME because I'm in such crazy denial. No. I'm talking about a *real* friend, but for anonymity purposes we'll simply call her Shaimee Craybrook.


Shaimee will wander around a store buying up gorgeous shoes left and right. Within 10 minutes of her purchase she'll be weighed down by a guilt so heavy, its the equivalent of having eaten 3 ice cream sundaes. This is where she begins talking about why she must return them.


Common lines heard from a shoe bulimic are
"I don't have anything to wear them with" or "I already have 2 other pairs like it" and even "they looked better in the store".

To Shaimee [and all shoe bulimics out there], purging these shoes will help her sleep better at night and not have to explain to her hubby why the house bills had to go unpaid. All excuses! And along the way her stories and rationale begin to make her the victim of a rushed purchase.

But shoes are the TRUE victims to this disease. They are the cute, but homeless kitten of the shopping world. Do you adopt pets and return them??? No. Because that's about on par with being a kitten murderer.




No one likes kitten murderers. This is why I had my closet designed to house 75 pairs of shoes. And guess what else, it's FULL. I buy up all the sexy shoes I see with no remorse or second thought.

Why?

Because I'm generous to a fault
.

It's a heavy burden to carry, but *someone* needs to think of others before themselves.



The moral of my story is to stop murdering kittens.


2 comments:

  1. I think I may be shoe-anorexic. It makes me sick just thinking about going shoe shopping. How bout when you stick your foot in to try on a new tennis sneaker and your toes fold over because the crumpled paper is still in the one end of it? eeeeeeeeesh. gives me the willies.

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  2. Kittens eventually turn into cats. I don't like cats so much...

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