Dear God - I'm sorry?

Ever had a priest flirt with you?  I did last night and trust me, it’s definitely as double hawk [awkward] as it sounds.  My question is, does smiling back help me get into heaven or throw me on a fast train to hell? 

I mean a priest should have some pull with the big dude upstairs right?  But then another voice in my head just shouts, “He’s a PRIESSSST”.  Then another voice in my head would tell THAT voice, “But he started it”.  This debate continued the entire meeting with the priest, so I pretty much missed anything he said. 

I miss the simpler days of religion - when all it had to do with was money. 

XOXO,

Jaime Mac

How to start a wine club

I debated titling this "How to make alcolholism socially acceptable".  

My wine club came from my failed attempt to join a book club.  I never went to a single meeting, because I never read the book.  After 3 missed meetings, they stopped including me.

Still, I was sad when I was shunned out of book club because I had been excited to meet new people, socialize, and laugh.  I LOVE to read just about anything until you tell me I have to read it. Then suddenly it's worse than a trip to the dentist.

But tell me I HAVE TO drink wine with my best friends and suddenly I'm not so quick to push back.  Viola! WINE CLUB was born.

The rules are simple:
1. Don't talk about what happens at wine club
2. Create a face book page - if you're nerdy enough to start a wine club, you're nerdy enough to follow this rule
3. The host picks the topic and supplies "sobering" apps - topic's can range from type or region to funniest label
4. The guests bring the wine or get the fuck out. That second part is more of an "unsaid" rule
5. Everyone takes turns talking about their wine while those around them get sloshed on it - this also usually means we end up shouting over the speaker to talk to each other about the wine. It's cool. Embrace the chaos.
6. The person closest to sober takes notes and posts to the facebook page - our notes have gone a bit...downhill.  Check out our facebook page to see.

If I could change one thing about my HBIC Wine Club it would simply to be that the president/founder should get a crown and scepter.  Hindsight truly is 20/20.

Is it tacky to go buy your own though? As *the* HBIC can I just create a 7th rule forcing the girls to band together and buy me queenly gifts?  Probably. But it seems a little late to enforce such a rule.


So, I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH - get your tiara early and think out your rules ahead of time.  No one likes an unorganized HBIC. 

Good luck with your club and be sure to make me an honorary member!

Jaime Mac

PS - I'm not going to explain the picture up top.  If you expected me, then you are not yet ready to start a wine club.  Rules are invented for reasons. Mostly saving face kind of reasons, but reasons nonetheless. 

Don't Argue With a Weird Person. You'll Never Win.

Nick just asked me why Tank is always running around the house with my underwear.  I told him it's all summed up in my blog post An Open Letter to Tank.  To which he responded, “I’m not reading that voodoo shit”.  Voodoo shit? Did I hear that correctly?  I here I thought I was the weird, dramatic one.  But even I don’t call anything pertaining to the web and social media voodoo.  He also refuses to get on Facebook or check out my twitter page.

So naturally I yelled, “You never listen to me when I talk….viamysocialmediachannels.”

This was followed by a I’m-concerned-for-your-mental-health kind of look and confirmation that I am still the weird one in this relationship.  

 Jaime-47; Nick-0.