The Crazy 13: A Pre-Aruba Tale

I leave for my bachlorette party in a few days.  You know, just *12* of my craziest closest friends taking me to Aruba for a long weekend to celebrate my pending nuptials. 

Side bar: I totally make a vow to jot down the funny things that are sure to occur while we are away and blog about them on my return 

Allow me to give you insight into the motley crue group I’m traveling with so that you can fully understand why I’m excited and terrified at the same time – excitified?

Angela – FILMS everything we do and then puts it on youtube. Probably *the* most dangerous one in the group.  She has single handedly removed any chance of any of us ever running for president some day with her incriminating footage. 

Bird – My partner in crime in the trouble causing department. I’m fairly certain you’ll be bailing us out of an Aruban (<-is that a word?) prison before the weekend is over

Larry – Oh yeah, Larry will be there too.  Probably for punching a cop in the face. Or sexually harassing hitting on him.

Natalie Ray – The fast and furious drunk of the group.  She will be drinking before most of us are awake!

Kristle – I actually think Kristle will be the only reason we make it ANYWHERE on time.  She’s clutch to have in such a big group.

Erwin – Will make sure the party does not end. I guarantee she will be the first to yell “Just one more drink before we leave!”

Diane – Our resident beer sports enthusiast and happy go lucky drunk

Harv – My work wife and also one of the funniest people in attendance.  She’s insane awesome simply for the reason that she goes along with all of my crazy schemes

Rach – The “quiet crazy” type.  I once watched her break out in fluent Spanish in a graveyard, just CUZ.  Seriously people.

Aimee – If my cat was a person, he would be Aimee. Prone to random acts of violence or break out dance parties. 

Nikki –The sweet heart of the group.  She usually isn’t responsible for starting the trouble, but she’s always down for being part of it

Rosie  – Always well meaning, but just a little *too* happy about weird ass shit.

And then of course there’s me.  If you’ve read this blog AT ALL you would know I’m the icing on this cake full of crazy.

All in all, I’m pretty effin lucky to have so many women in my life who would hop a plane to Aruba for me.  I’m a HUGE advocate for women needing women in their lives.  

Every one of these chicks has touched my life in an amazing way and helped shape who I am today.  So much of my confidence, happiness, and sense of humor are based on the times we’ve shared and the knowledge that they’ll always be in my corner when I need them.  

PS - As I was pushing my last post live Rachel and Harv sent me this email:

Subject line:  Rachel & I are working really hard...

Also, we’re really easily amused by the emoticon’s in MS Communicator.

 

NOW do you get it? 

XOXO - 

Jaime Mac

Caught (Unfortunately) on Tape

These are not recent occurrences in my life, but they do give a little insight into who I am.  And isn't that the point of a personal blog?  If I could give you one piece of "life advice" it would be: Don't get caught on tape. 

Youtube is like crabs. It's uncomfortable, ain't going anywhere, and anyone who knows about it WILL want to see it and laugh at you.

Whitest sock puppet rap in town.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IByTwemTiCE

First Wine Club Meeting - the night my vision for a club came true

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUF126wr0JA

Jersey Shore Themed Wine Club - the night I realized I suck at clubs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8MjQXEYz9M

Keep it classy. 

XOXO,

Jaime Mac

I’m not that badass, Gmail.

Dear Gmail,

Gmail "gets" me.

I’m wondering why based on the content of my emails you feel that my biggest concerns today will be KNIFE THROWING?  You clearly read my emails and decided terrorizing friends at my bachlorette party could be made better with a high-quality throwing knife.  

It makes me wonder if my weekends always look this horrifying from the outside? 

I can't think about that now though - I gotta to go look up some quality throwing knives to get through airport security for our Aruba trip in two weeks!  None of that cheap shit for me, thanks. 

I'll let you know how it goes!

(no, I won't)

(I might, if it's good)

(If you know me at all, a Bail Bonds ad would come in handy next)

Dear God - I'm sorry?

Ever had a priest flirt with you?  I did last night and trust me, it’s definitely as double hawk [awkward] as it sounds.  My question is, does smiling back help me get into heaven or throw me on a fast train to hell? 

I mean a priest should have some pull with the big dude upstairs right?  But then another voice in my head just shouts, “He’s a PRIESSSST”.  Then another voice in my head would tell THAT voice, “But he started it”.  This debate continued the entire meeting with the priest, so I pretty much missed anything he said. 

I miss the simpler days of religion - when all it had to do with was money. 

XOXO,

Jaime Mac