Dear God - I'm sorry?

Ever had a priest flirt with you?  I did last night and trust me, it’s definitely as double hawk [awkward] as it sounds.  My question is, does smiling back help me get into heaven or throw me on a fast train to hell? 

I mean a priest should have some pull with the big dude upstairs right?  But then another voice in my head just shouts, “He’s a PRIESSSST”.  Then another voice in my head would tell THAT voice, “But he started it”.  This debate continued the entire meeting with the priest, so I pretty much missed anything he said. 

I miss the simpler days of religion - when all it had to do with was money. 

Jaime Mac


  1. I'm... sorry??

    I recommend getting drunk and apologizing via facebook. Works every time.

  2. Sounds like a Halmark after school special in the making

  3. I just LOL'd. Is Mark Consuelos officiating your wedding? If not, maybe you should choose a different venue. On the other hand, he's human and regardless of spiritual persuasion and specific vocalized and documented commitments to serve a defined deity that, according to the written lore of aforementioned spiritual persuasion, demands one suppress any and all desires that are presented in the modern society of the time in which we exist; you ain't got a bad mug on ya. There are some schools of thought that lean toward damning you at the mere thought of indiscretions, while within others you are in the clear if the thought are a) recognized as "bad" and b) not acted upon. We'll go ahead and assume that you have no intentions of seducing your priest a few weeks before your blessed nuptials and we'll also pray that there isn't any double hawk moments whilst you're alone. If that becomes the case, you can always bring it back to your old school way of thinking and cancel the check.

    See? It is STILL all about money anyways.