I’m not that badass, Gmail.

Dear Gmail,
Gmail "gets" me.
I’m wondering why based on the content of my emails you feel that my biggest concerns today will be KNIFE THROWING?  You clearly read my emails and decided terrorizing friends at my bachlorette party could be made better with a high-quality throwing knife.  

It makes me wonder if my weekends always look this horrifying from the outside? 

I can't think about that now though - I gotta to go look up some quality throwing knives to get through airport security for our Aruba trip in two weeks!  None of that cheap shit for me, thanks. 

I'll let you know how it goes!

(no, I won't)

(I might, if it's good)

(If you know me at all, a Bail Bonds ad would come in handy next)


  1. Glad I'm not sharing a room with you on this trip. Then again, if YOU'RE getting throwing knives, I can only imagine what Aimee's getting :/

  2. awesome career decision #192: Did NOT become a Chip n' Dale dancer in Aruba between the years of 2001 and 2010 when my life would be cut short, no pun intended, amidst the most violent bachelorette party ever witnessed (according to those that survived).

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